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| you ask me "how are you", i'll answer "well, i'm submitting my portfolio this semester."
i won't go into detail about how i've been semi-forced to apply because of the number of units i've accumulated. but i will say that the whole 'more bang for your buck' approach to college has completely turned around and bit me in the butt. dang you 16 units every semester.
haha. but alas, the glass is half full.
being pushed into this whole portfolio review application process has really thrown me into reality and forced me to take all of this seriously, instead of simply viewing this as a near-future kind of deal.
everyone has been so amazingly supportive, namely my wonderful drawing teacher Mirian. (whatup texting buddy!)
i'm pretty much done compiling everything into a pdf, and spent the weekend typing up all my work into a pretty illustrator design attempt. hah! we shall see if this pays off. for now, it's making all of this pretty satisfying.
mini epiphany this week.
you ask me "what do you want to do with your major?"
and i used to answer "i really don't know."
but i would like to now say "if i could draw for a living, that would be ideal."
seriously.
that's the dream.
(or i'd become a housewife harvesting super chubs children)
---
another thought.
browsing through old facebook photo albums and just simply being home this weekend has made me miss my old church youth group days SO much.
there was a certain amount of normalcy and consistency every week of my life--whether in looking forward to seeing everyone friday night, carpooling with julie, and just being around some really great people. those days were some of the best and kept me so grounded. i miss it ALL.
not gonna lie, been feeling like a floating bubble of some sort these days, weeks, months.
but i'm really going to make an effort to be home every weekend.
however, i do acknowledge change and the growing pains involved. and i did feel an overwhelming sense of peace and gratitude.
i love my church, i love my family, and i love my Jesus.
here's to another week of school everyone!
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| read this article this morning.
i have a new appreciation for the differences between the Asian and Western cultures. we can say there is no boundary or that it's a fine line since we're all living in america now and assimilated, but oh my, it is still very VERY relevant.
give it a read.
i also have a greater appreciation for my parents and how they've been working so so hard to raise us.
it's easy for me to come back on the weekends from my college bubble and easily find the dings and scratches that are so obvious in my family. it's caused for many tears shed and a lot of asking 'WHY is my family soo dysfunctional?'
but i guess without these knicks and scars that have really MADE UP the wonderment that is our family, there would be no need for Jesus, now would there?
"As long as we are self-sufficient and complacent, we don't need to ask God for anything, we don't want Him."
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| the Holy Spirit definitely met me at today's church service. the older folks led us in traditional hymns--you know,How Great Thou Art and the like.
and though it wasnt loud and proud and completely modern..there was something so moving in the passion and meaning behind each verse.
Then sings my soul, My Saviour God, to Thee,
How great Thou art, How great Thou art.
what a great reminder of what this whole journey is about...Him!
what we struggle with every day is not only to bear fruit within us, but it is to encourage growth that will spark us to MOVE. to have these trying acts of faith overflow and stir up others.
The message today reminded us of God's great purposes for our lives:
1. We were created out of love and TO BE loved by Him.
2. We were formed for God's family-to be in fellowship with our fellow brothers and sisters.
this is particularily stirring for me, koinonia (the greek term for fellowship).
this means being as committed to each other as we are to Jesus Christ.
sometimes it's not a matter of WHERE we belong, it's more of whether we are willing to commit to each other or not.
mmm.
let's marinate in this.
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| College is such a strange place to be. There's kind of an unspoken pressure place on all of our shoulders to figure out:
1. what you want to do in life, ie. major? career? life goals?
2. how to get the FULL experience; everything is considered a big splurge--meals with friends, books, etc.
3. along the same wavelength...please also figure out how to save a ton of money. (hey businesses, have pity on us, we're students)
4. the relationships you make in college are pivotal--this is, apparently, where we make our lifelong friends.
a bunch of sarcasm was thrown in there, but y'all get the point, no?
Friends.
often I find myself wondering about the relationships i've made. and let me word this carefully, i love every person i've become friends with (there are and will be many days where i don't necessarily like them....). but i'm also constantly thinking..i can't be best friends with EVERYONE.
i realize i, myself, can only handle a handful of close close relationships. it's this very delicate balancing act of keeping all of these in check. it's the kind of balance that comes with ZERO instructions--a lot of living and failing involved. but we all eventually get SOMEWHERE right?
this is another revelation that just puts me in awe of God.
think about it...how many billions of people are on this earth? i know my little Chinese population takes up a whole chunk of that. (notice, the lack of actual statistics...this is me asking you not to quote the vague facts)
but really. there are ALL these people, and God loves every. single. one. of us.
If we want an instruction manual on how to BE someone's friend (haha), God IS that example.
and if that wasn't clear enough, He put Jesus Christ on this earth to be a physical example of a totally relational and loving person.
we've got to strive for this intimacy with the One who perfected that art of being selfless and loving.
God is Love.
"True friendship is rare on earth. It means identifying with someone in thought, heart, and spirit. The whole experience of life is designed to enable us to enter into this closest relationship with Jesus Christ. "
again, from utmost.org
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| one of the most awesome, sometimes frustrating things about being in a relationship with Jesus is how complex, yet simple it can be all at once. It's simple, the reason I believe: He is Love. But the love that He brings into our lives is so so complex, with all of those layers.
He's a clever one, I believe...
One of my favorite Bible stories is from John 8:1-11, the story of Jesus and the woman caught in adultery. (read here)
love it LOVE it when Jesus tells the crowd:
"Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her."
8D
I don't know how to explain this, but He is SO good.
--
still trying to process and wrap my head around this morning's utmost.org passage:
"....Days set apart for quiet can be a trap, detracting from the need to have daily quiet time with God. That is why we must “pitch our tents” where we will always have quiet times with Him, however noisy our times with the world may be. There are not three levels of spiritual life— worship, waiting, and work. Yet some of us seem to jump like spiritual frogs from worship to waiting, and from waiting to work. God’s idea is that the three should go together as one. They were always together in the life of our Lord and in perfect harmony. It is a discipline that must be developed; it will not happen overnight."
2 entries ago, I said that in these 3 weeks, strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord.
and God's slowly been revealing to me the whole discipline of waiting. It's not simply being in anticipation of what's yet to come. but i suppose, like today's excerpt, it is STILL a time of praising Him and being in constant struggle to grow and to work.
mm. thoughts in process.
we shall return later with clarity.
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